After the two week wait I was feeling sleepy, and slightly emotional still, and on Friday 29th of April I woke up and had no period!
So I was instantly excited, but cautious. I went about my morning and by the early afternoon nipped out to the shop to get a test and some bits and bobs!
I came home and tried to pee, but my body wouldn't allow it haha so I drank a full bottle of water and waited ten minutes.
After peeing and testing, I went to the kitchen, warmed up some lasagna for lunch and set the timer for over 3 mins....
Once the timer went off, I was so scared to go and look.
I went to the bathroom and felt a huge weight over my body and felt as If I was moving in slow motion the entire time.
I looked at the test - expecting nothing like the test from early February or if I was lucky a VERY faint line like last time.
I was SO shocked when I saw a strong positive line!!!
It wasn't even morning time, when your urine is the strongest and best to test, and it was earlier than last time I tested - I was 4 days late last time and this time I was a few hours late with a stronger line.
I went into the living room to tell my partner, and simply said...."you must have super sperm because you've done it again!" and walked out to get my now celebratory lasagna! haha
He came in and gave me a huge hug n kiss n kissed my belly.
Since then, we have told my parents, and my best friend only.
We had a meal with my partners family over the weekend but we decided not to spoil the occasion or to get their hopes up this early. However my (sort of) father in law was asking if we were trying again, and if he was going to be a Grandad any time soon. I simply said, yes we are and yes, we plan to make him a Grandad as soon as possible!
My parents were very happy and cautious and my best friend (despite trying for a baby herself with no luck) was very happy for us. I know how hard that must have been for her.
I don't think this has all sunk in with my partner properly yet, he is still acting as if it isn't happening and keeps saying, we're not there yet, or we don't need to worry about that yet. I think he is being very cautious and probably just the way he is dealing with everything.
I on the other hand am completely a mess.
I am counting the seconds until we get a scan.
Something which the midwife said we wouldn't be entitled to before the 12 weeks as having one miscarriage is not something that has a relevance with the next pregnancy, it doesn't automatically raise the chances of having another miscarriage. In fact getting pregnant within 6 months of a miscarriage or labour actually reduces the chance of miscarriage.
To elaborate on Anembryonic Gestation/Blighted Ovum/Missed Miscarriage I have the example here.
This show the top picture of an embryonic sac, without a fetal pole and/or yolk sac.
The bottom picture you can see the fetal pole/fetus and yolk sac.
At some point during an anembryonic gestational pregnancy the fetus stops growing, due to chromosonal issues it cannot overcome, and then disperses back into the gestational sac and your body may continue to think its pregnant, for me and many other with this condition until it is noticed near or at your first scan at 12/13 weeks.
This is what happened with me, and the top Image A is what my scan looked like.
However the statistics and midwife telling me that there is no reason for this to happen again doesn't stop me from thinking it is going to happen or being petrified of our first scan.
I am joining a community midwife service that we have in my area, and it means when I do have a scan It can be at a small clinic as opposed to the hospital again.
We have been looking at other options for early scans. We can pay and get an early pregnancy reassurance scan for £55 including a dvd of the scan! So that is definitely a possibility to help soothe my mind.
So for the next few weeks, I will be on pins, and praying to feel awful, because everyday I feel sick or tired or emotional I know I am still pregnant.
That's the thing last time, I didn't realise loss of pregnancy symptoms like nausea or cramps or overly emotional outbursts was a sign of Anembryonic gestation or early miscarriage, I just thought I was getting towards the 2nd trimester so I was feeling a bit better!
Anyhow, lets pray and cross our fingers that this is the one, this is it and by Christmas 2013 we will have our baby in our arms! Thats what were positively thinking, and just thankful for the opportunity to try again and that this has happened so quickly for us.
Please wish me luck :) - Rosebud x
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