Most people by the age of 24 know what they want for their lives.
They want to be a doctor, or a sailor, or work in finance or whatever, and they aim for that.
By going to university, or joining the forces, or getting a job and working their way up.
For me, what I want isn't something I thought I could work towards.
For as long as I can remember, all I've wanted for myself is to be a mum.
I don't mind about my career (so long as I'm financially stable) and I don't mind about my status or my reputation in the business world, all I want is a family of my own.
And as far as I was aware this wasn't something I could work towards. There's not college, no way of earning it, it just has to be the right person, the right time and bam...my dream would come true.
But very recently I found out that wasn't the case for me anymore.
Me and my partner have been together since late 2010 and have lived together since March 2012.
He is a good man, and one of the kindest, most honest and genuine souls I have ever met.
About 4 months ago, we lost a friend of ours. At the age of 22 and 24 that is not something that under normal circumstances would have to think about/ deal with, but we did and we have.
Following the days after finding out, a lot of our friends went through a stage on enlightenment, and awe of life. We all wanted to make amens and live life to the fullest.
One friend moved away to Europe, one got engaged to be married, and me and my other half discussed our relationship and our life together.
We talked about marriage and where we were going, and it was clear we were both on the same page.
So a few months pass, a few jokes about engagement, a bit of sneaky girl suggestion (as we do so often!) and we move on to the talk of babies, after one of my close friends had her 3rd and I was the most broody I have ever been. And for the record, I am extremely broody, all the time, but this was broodiness on steroids!
It was something we both have talked about before after a pregnancy scare early in the relationship, and we knew we wanted kids, and we would be there for each other should the situation arise.
But recently, 4 of my friends have been diagnosed with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) a disorder which up to 1 in 5 woman are diagnosed with these days!It basically means you have a harder chance of getting pregnant, and if you do a higher chance of miscarriage along with some other lovely side affects.
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| Diagram of PCOS Ovary |
Pretty nasty stuff really! Now I have not yet been checked for this syndrome. But I already know I have a 50% chance of having it.
My mother was diagnosed with it about 7/8 years ago, and it can be hereditary.
These facts played a heavy part in the up coming decision!
So me and my other half have been discussing this recently, and I am awaiting a doctors appointment to get checked out.
In the meantime, we have decided to start trying for a baby.
My logic is, if I DO have the syndrome, It could take me years to get pregnant, and more time to have a healthy and full term pregnancy. (Although my mother was told, back in the 70's she would never have children, and had 11 miscarriages herself and then went on to have My sister, My brother a year later, and Me 10 years after him! So It's not impossible. Personally I wouldn't rule out other means too. Such as Hormone treatments, IVF and even Adoption to achieve my dream.
And if I DON'T have it, It could take months to conceive naturally anyways, and then its 9, almost 10 months until you have a baby in your arms!
So either way, it is not an overnight process. It takes time.
Turning 25 in 4 months also is a factor. I know that women are most fertile in their 20's and if you leave it too late you can significantly reduce your fertility rates and that's not an obsticle I'm willing to purposely place in front of me for this journey!
So after saying...pretty much this to my other half, and laying my dreams and fears on the table, he agreed.
He said we can try, and went on to say it would be nice to know that our baby would be planned, and that when we did get pregnant that it would be something to celebrate instead of a shock/surprise. He said he wasn't ready right this second to be a father, but he understands that it's not something that happens quickly and I also told him, some men don't feel ready until they hold their child in their arms for the first time! And even then some don't feel ready! That's fair enough. But I am more than ready.
I also told him how much of an amazing father I think he would be and how he is already a natural (after seeing him with my friends child recently) and how I can't wait to have a little piece of me and him to nurture and love and guide through life.
I am about to start a healthier diet, and fill myself with the right vitamins and nutrient to help fertility, and stocking up on ovulation test and going to the doctors to get checked for PCOS and most importantly (and most enjoyably) having lots and lots of baby making sex!!!
So I thought I would share my experiences, and see how we get along. I'll update this when we have any news, from the doctors, from the ovulation tests, and hopefully when we have two little blue lines to blog/brag about!
Keeping my fingers crossed, and my legs not - Rosebud x
